Snippets

It’s been three full weeks since my last post. I can’t believe it. I also can’t believe I’ve spent the past couple of days posting pictures of Project 365. (Note to myself: Hello! Post them every day. It only takes a couple of minutes! Your future self will love you!)

Very foggy around these parts. Well it has been. Today was bright and sunny. Yesterday was not.

So many things changing & evolving…I like being redundant.

Video blog coming up. Hopefully tomorrow. That would make it a vlog.

Everything you do matters. Every step leads you somewhere. What roots are you laying down in your children? How about your own heart. This is something I’ve been thinking on.

Also, could it be? Could it really, really be that those deep desires within us were put there by the Father? Could it be those things that I thought too lofty or too great for me, can be reality and it’s part of His plan? If that is the path, where should my steps be leading my family and I?

So many things to say, but my mind is on overload. I’ve been up since before the crack of dawn and have not napped.

Before I leave you, please check out this cool blessing.

Ahh, the weekend!

I’d really love to have a restful weekend. What I think of as relaxing and restful doesn’t really exist, but I still want it. I desire for children who get along perfectly all weekend. I want to read or create something and meals to magically appear without needing me to clean up. No laundry. PLEASE, no laundry. Clean kids and clean bathrooms. Good naps and easy bedtimes. Maybe some of you experience this. If you do, don’t tell me about it. If you don’t, feel free to share. I don’t want to know that it can actually happen. If I thought that, I’d also need to feel guilty for my lack of parenting skills and I don’t need more guilt. I already felt guilty for wondering if dropping my 2 oldest kids on the side of the road would be bad. It’s the bickering, the constant bickering between those 2 that drive me to cliffs of insanity. And yet, there has to be a strong bond between the two. She really loves him and often thinks of ways to bless him. When Dusty was around 8 months to a year old I’d have her over for the night. I could not get her to stop crying. She didn’t want to be with Auntie Dar, she wanted her mama, who was Crystal at that time. So, I would take Dusty into Christopher, who was about 3-4 then, he would open up his arms and scoot over in his bed. She’d crawl into his arms, snuggle up, and they’d sleep through the night. I simply cannot tomato stake all four of my children to me, no matter how much they need it or even want it. I feel like I’m always putting out fires between them. It gets really really tiring. I guess lack of adult interaction adds to my level of irritability, as well. Reading blogs, Facebook, and instant messaging is pretty much my only contact with grown up world…and probably a good number of my facebook friends are not adults! Ah, the weekend is here and I am sure to see an adult or 10 show up either this evening or tomorrow after church.

Sorry for the weary complaining. I know I have so much to be thankful for like: 20 lbs of potatoes, 7 lbs of rice, okra soup tonight (I’ll be doing a post on that recipe), foggy fields, facebook, blogs, and gmail instant messaging. Oh and naps…especially when they are taken with minimal fussing!

So ends week 1 of homechoool 2009. A successful week. Not perfect, mind you, but I didn’t expect that anyway. We did lots of little tests to figure out who was where in what so that I can figure out who to start where in what. Did that make sense? Sage did remarkably well considering it was a change. It takes lots of talking to him about what is going to happen and how great it will be and how his brain will get stronger and wiser even though it’s hard at first. When he is uncooperative I just pretend that it’s okay and that’s what I want him to do and, “Oh Sage! I’m so sorry you’re too tired to do this thing. Why don’t you rest so you can get strong? I don’t want you to be too tired to miss out on the fun.” This is the kind of thing that works with kids who have Reactive Attachment Disorder. You can also read more about it here. I don’t like the label. I don’t like that it works, but it does. I resisted the idea of this because it seem so full of psychology, but the fact is that there has been trauma in their lives that has severely changed the way their brains and emotions work. In all actuality, I also would have been diagnosed with it. I can see how many of the “symptoms” I’ve had or do have. Jesus does make a difference, obviously, but some of the biggest changes have come in recent months. I have a friend who says things like, “Yeah, go ahead and make that choice. I’m not gonna tell you it’s wrong cuz you already know that, but here’s what Jesus says about you…” Something in me suddenly says, “Uh, you think I’m gonna do that dumb thing? You got another thing coming, buddy!” Anyway, this isn’t what I came on here to talk about, but I did.

Where was I going with this? I don’t know either. Your guess is as good as mine…oh yeah, school. It has been good. I just need to get started a little earlier in the mornings which would involve going to bed a bit earlier in the evening. It’s that self-discipline thing that I’m not too fond of. Sigh.

In spite of all the challenges we are facing as a family I am looking forward to this school year. I’m hoping this is the year my 2 younger ones really learn how to read and the two older ones improve their reading speed and comprehension. Here’s to a more peaceful and productive year in which our heart are knit together tighter than before.

I’ll leave with a Christmas eve picture of my four greatest blessings and boredom busters. The first one is the result of asking Ireland to please not look so angry. It’s not such a big deal that she smile, but she looked like she was glaring.

just a short nap…

Why is it that I can’t really ever take “just a short nap”? I’d really like to know. I gaze longingly at my bed and think, “Gee, if I take a short nap I’ll have a clearer head and maybe my brain will remember that it’s supposed to back from vacation!” So, I lie snuggle down between the forest green flannel sheets, set my timer on my phone for 20 minutes, and drift off to la-la land. I wake up an hour later regretting that fateful decision to lie down and wonder why I make that mistake almost every day. I just get so tired. Before my nap I was staring at my computer and wondering what to write and thinking about so many things, but my body just wouldn’t move! Now, I can’t sat that today’s post is earth shattering, but I am thinking in complete sentences!

Today is day 2 of homeschool 2009. It has been much less productive, but I am not altogether bothered by that. It’s all about me learning to manage conflict, school, and my other household duties. I am learning. I think I’ve always been trying to learn, but maybe it’s getting easier…or we’re just having a good day. I am very much encouraged by my children’s progress in reading and having good attitudes. Well, Ireland had a little issue today. She refused to get out pattern blocks. When I sat down with her and opened the pattern block box she exclaimed, “Oh, I love those!” It’s merely an obedience issue with her, but I am working on that. Anyway, as I sat down to plan school I was feeling very anxious. We’re behind. They’re behind in everything. I’m not on schedule with my history or science rotation. I heard such-and-such math is better, but we have no money. I want, above all, for my children to love Jesus with all that is within them. I also want them to be well educated, unlike myself. I want them to love learning and to always be seekers of the Truth.

We’re still studying Colonial America. We haven’t even hit the Revolution yet, but we’re close. We’re reading Johnny Tremain and George Washington’s World by Genevieve Foster. Christopher and Dusty have been reading this out loud to the rest of us. It is good to hear them reading so much better now.  Sage is working on reading Bob books and Ireland is working on following directions. I think I’ll use Spelling Power for, well, spelling. I’ve done the first test that tells me which placement test to give the kids. We’ll do the placement tests tomorrow. I think I’ll have to make up some worksheets and drills for math since they’ve pretty much forgotten a bunch of stuff. I currently use Horizons math, but supplement with Math-U-See blocks and Calculadders. I also have all the Ray’s Arithmetic series. So really, I should have no shortage of material to work with. However, I am having some scanner/printer problems, but I’m trying to pretend that they’re not really there.

Wanna see my very poofy hair? Sure you do. I had my hair in 2 french braids for over 24 hours and this is the result!

*If you know what I really look like you may notice that I removed some moles and wrinkles. Now if I was just that easy in real life.

**Oh, I almost forgot! For the continuation of Project 365 please go to Simply Life Photography. I decided to move it over there. Thanks.

Stormy Days and Clean Desks

It was a blustery day here in Sheridan. The rain/snow looked as though it were being violently thrown at my window. There was flooding in my street last night. Fortunately our house is technically above the flood plain. Last year the flooding was really bad. After it was all over I’d drive down Main Street and would see the sidewalks piled with people’s belongings that had been destroyed. It was really sad. I was only seeing it on a small scale. I can’t imagine where whole villages are wiped out.

Today the kids were gone doing Christmas celebrations with their dad. So, I had the house to myself. I’m not used to such an occurrence. I didn’t get as much done as I had hoped. You should’ve seen my list. First of all, he picked them up and left here hours after the appointed time and brought them home much earlier than expected so I was taking my time getting things done. However, I did get to talk to my good friend Cindy, who is only in the U.S. for the next few days and Traci. Conversations were not interrupted on my end. I cleaned my kitchen while on the phone. I didn’t have to stop to break up an argument or to get someone a snack! Can you imagine such a wonderful thing? Completing a job in one fell swoop?

I did conquer a major thing on my list today. My desk area. It can get so atrocious! “Mama, where does this go? I made this for you.” To which I reply, “Uh, on my desk.” So, I let it pile up. Then I think of all the projects I could do if only my desk was clean.

So. This is DAY 2 photo of 365. My workspace. My play place. The place I pay my bills, plan school, and create goals. The place where I can let my imagination run wild with paints, papers, stamps, ribbon, fabrics, etc. If only I can learn to keep this space clean so that when the inspiration hits me I won’t have an excuse not to do so.

I guess you could call it my helm. Like in a ship, but I was really picturing Jean-Luc Picard’s ship on the Enterprise from Star Trek: The Next Generation.

By the way, you can see my self-portrait that the kids and I did in the fall. You can also see that my computer is open to Facebook. Perhaps I should’ve closed my computer for the shot. Oh yeah, you can also see that I’m reading Les Miserables…or at least trying to. I am enjoying it a great deal, but it does use brain power to understand the French words and wrap my mind around the way the government and church were set up. I’m not very far into it yet.

P.S. After originally writing this post some friends came bringing me a gift from their mother. I was able to quickly pull out what I needed to make a thank you card. I cleaned it up right away, of course.

365 project

This is my new project for the year 2009. I’ve been thinking about it for months, but was really inspired when I read this on Cathy’s blog. I, of course, entered the contest. However, if I don’t win, I’ll still do my own version of such a thing. I’m a bit afraid to take on such a project. What if I can’t keep up with it? What if I fall of the wagon? If a guy can write a script a day, then I should be able to take a picture and put a few words together, right?

I am going to document my year by taking 1 picture a day and creating a scrapbook layout for it. I may do it digitally or I may just do it the old fashioned way…using real paper. I’d like to explore the digital world more, though. I’d like be able to do things like this. Anyway, at the end of the year, I should be able to assemble a little book on December 31, 2009. Are you with me here?

Alright, with only a small disclaimer. My normal camera is in the shop. I’m using my old digital point and shoot. I’m kind of enjoying it…sort of.

Day 1:

We were on our way to have lunch with a couple of my old highschool friends when I passed this cool toy store in Newberg. I had to go around a couple blocks to get back to it. It’s New Year’s Day and it’s closed. That didn’t stop them from looking. As they were looking through the windows their excitement was growing. There were several, “Hey! Look at that! Did you see that huge Nutcracker? It’s gigantic. Come look. Ooh, I like that game. Hey, I can’t see. Mo-o-o-o-ove over!” I think we’ll have to visit the store when it’s open.

Oy Vey

(What does that mean, anyway?)

OK. I’m aware that it’s almost 5 in the evening and it should be dinner time. I understand that Ireland isn’t tired because she got to sleep in the van. I didn’t sleep in the van. I was driving. I have slept while driving before. I don’t recommend it. Really. Anyway, the point is that while I’d love to write a good blog, I just can’t. I must close these eyes. I’m tired. While driving I kept thinking of things of blogs to write, but I can’t remember them. So, goodnight. I’ll wake up later. Feed my kids Mac & Cheese (it was free) and popcorn and let them choose a movie. They’ll stay up far too late and sleep in. Monday we must get back into a normal routine….

Oh, I’m listening to Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong. It’s so awesome!