I have always considered it a blessing to be part of such a great community, both here in Sheridan and McMinnville. This summer one of my friends said she has never seen anyone so blessed by being surrounded by such a great group of loving people. Too bad I didn’t fully grasp that earlier, but I’m not going to feel guilty for that. I would have told anyone that I can count on my community for anything, I just didn’t. I chose to look like I have it all together. Which I don’t.

So, if you really want to know how things are or what I need, feel free to ask. I will tell you what I can.

In my community of believers we talk about the church being one body and bearing one another’s burdens. I’m beginning to understand it. I’m beginning to let my burdens be shared. I’m committing to meeting with Penny. She’s a prayer warrior and elder’s wife. We will talk and pray. I’ll continue to meet with my T-Girls and my LTG. I used to get emails from DivorceCare. I’ve decided to do that again. There’s also a Divorce Care group that meets in McMinnville. I don’t know if I’ll add that, but they also have a ministry for the kids. I want to be careful about what I add or subtract from my schedule.

A couple of friends stopped by today to check how I’m doing and see what’s going on. Thank you Katie & Nidia.

I want change. I so badly want change, but I don’t wanna do it on my own any more. I need Jesus. I need His Holy Spirit to work in me and through me. I just want to seek Him. I want to be changed; transformed by the renewing of my mind.

In June of last year I wrote this, actually a friend told me this. At least that’s what my blog said, I don’t remember which friend, but apparently they’re a good gardener.

God’s plan is perfect
and He didn’t plan the pain
but He knew it would come
and it’s like a good gardener (which I am)
when you know the rains coming, you plant seeds ahead of time
so that when the rain comes
corn, baby
all that He put in you
was put there knowing how Satan would attack you
and knowing that in the end
these light afflictions will work in us a far more exceeding weight of glory

So, let it be.