That is the question I most often receive. I imagine that is the most asked question among friends and acquaintances. It is always a challenge to know whether the asker really wants the truth or not. How much dirt do they want? They never believe me when I say that I am doing well, anyway, so I wonder if I should make something up.
Here’s the lowdown. The download. The inside scoop.
It has been 4 months since my husband and I separated. I am doing incredibly well. I am not always feeling incredibly well. I hurt deeply and my lonliness has reached a level I never thought possible. I am tired. I am learning to trust the Father. My Captain. My Strength. My Joy. I am reserved and yet vulnerable. I am interesting sometimes. I am learning to be unafraid. Maybe I’m even brave. I am growing. I am becoming alive. I no longer live in survival mode. I am angry. My mind is a battlefield. I am scared. I am protected. I have hope. I have the shield of faith that quenches the fiery darts of the evil one. I am not alone. I am building new relationships. I no longer stay in bed all day. I am learning to stand. One day I will fly on the wings of an eagle. Nothing separates me from the love of God, not even my doubting heart and harsh words. I am broken. I am mending. I am NOT alone. I am not going to lie down on the battle field and get trampled. I may go hide for a bit while I my wounds heal, but then I’ll be out there again. The battle is won. I am remembering my love for writing and music. I feel like I’m waking up from a deep sleep and becoming something…do I dare say it? Beautiful.