Today truly was the perfect day and I’m not talking about this kind of day. (It’s a short movie and it’s funny and Christopher’s name is in the credits.)
This morning Lennox and I scraped the ice of the van windows so we could go sunrise hunting. The sunrise isn’t difficult to find, I mean, it happens every morning. We went out to capture pictures of it. I was prepared to get some great shots. What I wasn’t prepared for was the work that God was going to work in me this morning.
I stood there, camera held tight in my hands, my eyes fixed on the horizon. The crisp morning air envelopes me like an old familiar blanket. I close my eyes; the birds sing their early rising song to me. Then I hear it. A lone goose rising high into the air. ‘HONK HONK’. He is not supposed to be alone, he was created to fly in a flock. He is confused. He flies one way then the other. He will not give up until he is reunited with his family. It is both sad and beautiful.
Lennox and I speak very little while out there. It is too sacred of a time.
I watched the sun rise above the horizon. I could barely breath. There were no words in me. I just watched. I felt cleansed. Loved. Amazed. He paints the morning sky with miracles in mind. I finally asked Him, “Where is the miracle today?” I wondered if I had been missing out on the miracles of previous days.
The miracle came in the following hours. What I didn’t know is that it had been happening over the previous three days as well.
My body has been failing me. I have been starving. Literally. Yesterday I had my esophagus dilated just so I can get fluids down. I still need surgery. I’m not afraid of that anymore.
As my body as been shutting down I’ve had a lot of time to think. I haven’t had the energy to do much else. I have been vulnerable. I have had some difficult conversations; the kind I swore I would never have. I’ve shed tears in front of one I never wanted to share that with. This morning the fog cleared from my brain and heart. The sun shone bright. I could see clearly.
This story is too big to share in one blog post. I have to tell you about Cliff Woman, the Cave(s), the hiding and being called out, the gathering of warriors, the boulder in the trail, and forgiveness. It is the time to tell the story of what He is doing and what He has done.
My friends, Aslan is on the move. Can you feel it? I can.
I was sitting on a blanket in my yard while the breeze danced across the tall green grass. The men in the neighborhood were gathered around motorcycles, tractors, and pick up trucks. My kids were riding their bikes back and forth seeking my approval. I say to Sage, “You are brave and you are strong! Look at how fast you’re going. Those are rad skid marks!” I say to Ireland, “Wow, look at you. You are such a brave warrior princess.” As I was sitting there being warmed by the sun I couldn’t help but think what a gift that moment was.
I suddenly believe that I am forgiven, beautiful, redeemed, righteous, brave, chosen, a warrior, a woman of valor. I am being renewed. There is a song that says, “You make all things glorious. What does that make me?” Well, it makes me glorious, of course.