The wind whistles loudly this morning. I wake up feeling subdued, almost sad, but not quite. I have had a good weekend. I have had a good week. That’s strange to say. My week has been full of up and downs. Fears have been fiercely knocking at my door. Fear of being left alone, left behind, ignored, disliked, unlovely. I have had my heart hurt so much this week. I’ve also had a great amount of riotous fun. Singing. Dancing. Loving. Opening my home to bless others. I wake up ready to think. I think about the Bible telling me to be sober minded, serious, vigilant, watchful. I think of how my pride often gets in the way of God’s blessings for me. In fact, it always gets in the way. What’s that? Oh yeah, God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.
Grace. I need that. Lots of it.
My last blog was about vision. Each day my vision is becoming a bit clearer than the day before. It’s amazing what happens when we turn our eyes on Jesus. Looking forward. Looking up. Looking to Him. Refusing Trying not to get distracted by the cares of this world. I don’t know about you, but I talk to myself a lot. Lately I was thinking some pretty horrible things about myself. My [adopted] dad used to tell me I’d grow up to be like my birth mom, Debbie. He only said that when we had been fighting. She had been a prostitute. I knew he has called her a whore. Recently I heard that voice in my head telling me I’m a whore. I was feeling bad when I realized that it was a lie. The next day, when least expected, I wrote down what I am in Jesus. I didn’t make it up. He gave it to me. A sweet gift at the end of an emotionally tumultuous week.
I am Darlene Bethene Taylor
A Child of the Most High King
A Woman of God
Called to Love, to Worship, to Fight
Grace and Mercy clothe me
Truth guides me
I am a Mother
I am a Teacher
I am training children of God to walk in the Light
I am a Photographer and Writer
I capture the beauty and the ugliness of all that is woven into this Tapestry
There is a story to tell
It’s as old as can be
A Story of Love and Redemption
and I am a Story Teller