I can honestly say that this is the best Mother’s day I have ever had. I wasn’t sad. Well, I wasn’t very sad. I didn’t feel alone. I didn’t feel like a complete failure. I didn’t feel resentful. What I did feel was loved, blessed, rested, and so grateful for the place I’m in today. At one point I also felt the weight of my role. I have a deeper understanding of the sacrifice, determination, and dying to self that is necessary when mothering my children. Sometimes I don’t want to fight for them because I feel so overwhelmed by it all. Yet, I remember that I am not alone.
I don’t even know what to say. I keep writing and deleting. I know I want to be an amazing mom. More than me being amazing, I want my children to see the heart of God in and through me.
I wrote about my mom last August.