I keep tagging this as “postaday2011”, but I kinda feel like a liar. I’m not posting every day. I could start tagging it as “postaweek2011”, but that’s not what I want.

It goes back to that procrastination thing.

Starting today I’m committing to changing a few things in my life. Taking out, adding in. My struggle with food is deeper than just love of food. It’s substituting something for God. It’s me telling God that He isn’t enough to fill the empty places in my life. It’s me telling God that even though He created the heavens and the earth that He isn’t big enough to fill the gnawing emptiness within me. It isn’t always gnawing. Just at times.

I am getting to bed earlier these days, so that is a good thing. I’m also getting up earlier. My morning quiet times aren’t going exactly how I want them to go, but I am improving. It is so hard to get out of bed sometimes. Sometimes? Let’s be honest here…all the time. I am always so tired. I am going to be changing some things in my diet so hopefully that will help.

I am using my calendar to plan things. It’s all color blocked in iCal so I can clearly see what category it belongs in. I wonder how the homeschooling, blogging, work-at-home moms do it. I don’t work outside my home and I don’t home school. Maybe I read too much about time management!

My question to God lately has been: What are the things that hold me back from You? These are the things I’m looking to eliminate. I think this is the only answer. It’s always Him. He’s the One calling me to deeper relationship with Him. The rest just fades away, I think.

I am blessed. I forget it sometimes, but I truly am.

Yesterday I met with 3 friends at 2 different times then ran into another one in a store. My heart connected with all four of these women. I’m beginning to understand the power of these sort of friendships. I am becoming weary of friendships that remain shallow. I long for something deeper. I have two choices here: to get real and go deeper or to just stay shallow. It is a difficult thing to get really real. It’s an easy thing for me to get into the mud of someone else and encourage them, but to let them get into my mud pit is a whole different story. After all, they’re way more muddy than me, right? Yeah, not so much.

Relationship with Christ brings healing. Often that healing comes through the body. How will the body know that we need healing if we only show the good side?

 

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