Frankly, I pretty much feel like the worst parent in the world. I’m not beating them or starving them or living in a filthy pig sty sort of home.

I had parent teacher conferences for two of my kids. Sad news. Behavior issues in both of them.

I have two kids at home that seem to think I’m out to take away all their freedoms like ipod and computer time.

Isn’t parenting supposed to be a team sport? This frickin’ sucks, man. I don’t have anyone in my home to back me up.

I see why women get remarried so quickly. They’re fighting an uphill battle on a slippery slope with their kids and desperately need some back up. Oh, but not this gal. No, I seem to think that I can do it on my own. Not to mention that I’m not even divorced. Why is that, anyway? Lack of money? Fear that divorce really isn’t the answer? Fear that it is? Isn’t marriage a covenant? Didn’t I pledge my life to him? Isn’t it ’til death we do part? Dude, next time I’m putting in a clause that says, “’til death we do part or you have an affair”.

It’s hard to walk with God. Being a Christian is hard work. Sometimes I wish I was one of those Christians that knew how to cry in all the right places, went to church when the doors opened, but went home and looked like a normal American family. Living life and doing whatever I stinking pleased.

That’s not how it works, is it?

Once you know the Truth you can’t UN-know it.

Dang it.

I’m at a loss. I don’t know how to properly parent my children so they are successful, happy, righteous living, kingdom moving, compassionate, and loving adults. I know they’re kids and their selfish. It’s called sin nature. They’re not born full of good. We know that.

There has to be something better than this. There has to be a way for my family to really be a family; to love one another and at least prefer someone over themselves. There has got to be some determination in them somewhere, doesn’t there?

Nobody seems to have the answers. Where are all the people who have gone before me and struggled? I don’t seem to know anyone who has struggled through. They all seem to have had a good time.


I have laundry to fold and chin hairs to pluck.
I’m getting up early for crossfit again. Woohoo. Day 6 here I come.