So, I’ve skipped a few days. It’s mostly because life is full. I guess that’s the best way to put it. I couldn’t write. I wanted to keep up with the blog every day in May challenge, but I just couldn’t. I had a very angry day. VERY ANGRY. I seriously thought I was going insane. That was Monday. When I sat down to write I couldn’t think of anything to write that wasn’t scathing and hurtful. I didn’t want to post that.

Today’s prompt is to blog about “your lot in life“. I can’t do that. That’s what so much of this blog is about. I’ve written about my kids and their journey to me. I’ve lamented about how hard things are and how much therapy we do and how sad things are. So, I need a break from that!

On Saturday a group of us took a leisurely stroll on a hike called Cascade Head. Oh wait, nope, that’s NOT what happened. I tell you, I read a little about the hike. It’s 6.8 miles round trip. I thought that it might be a little hard in places. I had NO idea what I was in for!

I start off by getting behind because I was taking pictures. I didn’t mind. I wanted to enjoy my day. Then I jogged a little bit to catch up when suddenly I stopped dead in my tracks. All I saw was a steep wall of steps. STEPS!!!! These baby legs of mine had to actually clamber over a few. My legs were burning, my lungs were burning, I thought I was going to pass out. I don’t mind being last, but darn it, not only was I last and had no idea where my group was, I was going to die on the trail. Eventually I see Sage bounding down the steps. He takes one look at me and bounds back up saying, “Here’s mama!” My kids are there along with Jessi and new friend Shelly. They are waiting for what seems like forever and I’m wondering if I’m even getting closer. I can’t even talk so I wheeze out, “You don’t (puff puff) have to (puff puff) wait for me.” Jessi peeks from around the tree chipperly saying, “Oh, we’re not.” I get up to where they are and I keep going. I am NOT going to stop. Shelly assures me that they needed a rest, too. They had been waiting long enough to not be winded! So, we travel on. I begin to realize that I won’t be focusing on taking pictures. This is a challenge and I’m going to rise to the occasion.

[I did have to leave early so I could pick up Christopher, his tux, and corsage in order to get him to where he needed to be for his first prom with his new girlfriend.]

I’m beginning to think things like, “Fat people shouldn’t hike” and “I’m not resting. I decided to do this hike, it’s my fault I’m fat. I don’t deserve to rest.” At one point the group rested again and Shelly insisted that I stop for minute. I wish I could remember more of her from that day. It’s all foggy to me. I didn’t rest long enough to drink much water and had a migraine later that evening.

There was one part that wasn’t such a climb and I was saying something about how I’m carrying a bunch of extra weight. Ireland was in the very front and Dusty was walking behind me. I told Dusty I was carrying as much weight as a gymnast. You know, they weigh about 100 lbs. She said, with great understanding in her voice, “Oh, is that how much your camera bag weighs?” I laughed out loud, as in LOL. I said, “No Dusty, I’m fat!” She laughed and said, “Oh”. Then from the front Ireland says, “You’re not fat, you’re fluffy!” Ah yes, that’s much better, isn’t it?

Well, no matter the case, I am going back to that place and going to go to the very top. I had to turn back and I hated to do that. I’m going to go back and get to the top. Ireland and I jogged most of the way down. That was fun until some real trail joggers passed Ireland and I by.

Here’s some photos from that day, by clicking on them you can see the photos better:

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