This morning found me wide awake before the sun had risen. I showered, put my pj’s back on, and sat down at my computer. Maybe I’ll get the emails for work taken care of so that I can work more on building my business during the day. Oh, I know, I’ll work on editing photos from a job I haven’t been paid for in full, but I just want to get done. What’s that? Oh, ok. I’ll pray. I’m here alone and won’t be interrupted. Prayer sounds good.
I first bring out my gratitude journal and begin to write. I find that beginning with thankfulness helps me to get the focus off of my own selfish desires. I begin to pray for my children, my best friends, and then finally myself. I ask Him to guide me in building my iLA business. I tell Him that I don’t know what I’m doing, but that I know this is my “anything”. I’m all in. Please teach me and guide me. I need to know that I can still hear You, that my life isn’t so full that I’ve left you by the wayside. I then open my Bible app on my phone. (Not sure why since my Bible was just as near to me as my phone.) The verse that comes up for the verse of the day is from Isaiah.
Thus says the Lord,
The Holy One of Israel:
“I am the Lord your God,
Who teaches you to profit,
Who leads you by the way you should go.
Wow. You teach me to profit. Got it.
On Monday my van got a flat tire in Salem. My spare is bad, too, but it got us home. All of my tires are bad. In fact, my spare is now flat and I can’t even drive to go get tires! I was fine with that for now, but my kids will want to see the fireworks on the 4th of July. How would I get them there? I shot out a short prayer that was something like this, “Please don’t let the 4th be sucky for my kids.” Like I said, I didn’t care, but I didn’t want them to feel bad. It’s bad enough that we’re spending it alone and not eating any fun food!
Well, Christopher’s girlfriend’s dad called to ask if Chris could take care of their dog and stay out there while they were gone. They said even the whole family could stay out there. (It’ll be like a stay-cation!) Here’s the kicker. They’re letting us use their Tahoe while they’re away. My kids will get to see the fireworks. This family didn’t know that I was even concerned about that!
Before I had started praying this morning I was thinking of how my dad would’ve never let me have bad tires. He would’ve bought me new ones. I kept thinking that I missed my dad that always took such good care of me. I miss him, especially around this time of year, but you know what?
I have a Father in heaven that takes REALLY good care of me. I tell Him that I’m willing to do anything He asks of me and he gives me a job. Oh, the other night I had only $70 for groceries. My bill was $70.75. I had it all. I ask Him for help and He always comes through. I am surrounded by great quality friends.
Today was long and tiring. I worked hard in my job, building my business, managing my home and children, and didn’t have time for high maintenance or pointless conversation. I was constantly busy. It was good. I’ll do one final tidy of the house on my way to bed. I feel very cared for, like someone is looking after me. I also feel like I could use just one more hug tonight.