iLA conference 2013 La Jolla, San Diego
iLA conference 2013
La Jolla, San Diego

This is my friend Lennox. He’s been going on hikes for the past several months and inviting others to join him. I wrote about doing the Cascade Head hike back in May. It was so hard for me. Even the next day my lungs hurt.

I’ve just committed on going on another hike with him and my good friend Erica and her husband. Can I just tell you that they are all thin and fit and have longer legs? This hike will be 12 miles round trip. That’s almost like a half marathon. I know how hard that was for me and yet, I say yes? Hello? Anybody home????

I love the challenge, but I’m afraid I can’t finish it. Nobody will think less of me if I don’t…except me. I think things like, “I’m fat. Fat people don’t hike. Oh, look, they’re hiking and they’re not fat. I should go eat some ice cream.” Ok, there were some fat people on the Silver Creek Falls hike, but not so much on the Cascade Head hike. What am I thinking? Seriously?

Lennox says I’m not a fat person. Erica says I’m strong. They are a couple of my closest friends and maybe they know more than I do [in some areas]. I just know that I’m nervous about it. 

I just hope that my Chani friend is ready for snarky texts when I’m miles behind the others and teetering off the edge of a cliff. I’m not joking about the cliff thing.

This is kind of a downer post. I’m scared. Fear makes people stupid. I’ve done lots of stupid things out of fear. I’m getting better at not being afraid. In fact, most of the time I’m not. I’m fearless and strong in many areas. I’m all for blazing a trail! I used to be ruled by fear, but now I just have little pockets of it hanging around. I’m not going to let it paralyze me.

1 John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.” I will not fear.

Here’s a link to site I found about the trail. It has pictures and video.