I am amazed by all
That I have seen from You
Teach me Your Way

Show me your face
Oh Lord

excerpt from the song Whisper Lennox Fleary

It is the third Saturday of 2014.

In the first full week I created my financial goal plan for the  year. I was so pleased with it. Yet, I kept hearing a quiet sort of voice in my head encouraging me to not hold on to that plan too tightly. So, when I had finished it and saw it was good I told myself, “Self, this is a direction, not a plan set in stone. This may not happen and it’s not the end of the world if it doesn’t.” So that was that. I hole punched it and put it in my handy dandy financial binder.

The following Monday I had the thought, “You’re getting laid off…” Okay. That’s interesting. An hour later I received a call letting me know that I was being laid off that day. I turned in my time card almost immediately and began to process this. I was sad. So very sad. I loved my job and the people I worked with. I enjoyed connecting with the customers and getting to know them a little. I worried. I wondered how I was going to make it financially. I do not want to go back on food stamps. I do not want to be cold or afraid that my water or electricity will get turned off. I tried to sleep the day away, as is my custom when I’m stressed; that or binge eating. I couldn’t do either. I knew that I wasn’t actually despairing, I was just sad and that’s ok.

By the end of the day I was good. The kids and I all sat around as I read parts of the book of Job. I realized that getting laid off is merely a small bump in the road. It doesn’t change me or what I am called to. I do not have to be afraid. I do not have to fear neither poverty or wealth. My circumstances do not change who I am or who God is.

When we prayed that evening Christopher thanked God for me getting laid off because we know God has something else in store for me.

From that moment on I’ve been excited. My heart has opened up and I feel a softening. I have options open to me, this is not the end of the road. I didn’t feel burdened by my job, but I feel so free right now. (Mind you, if my job was offered back to me, I’d take it, but I’d also keep this feeling of freedom.)

Getting laid off didn’t actually free me, what it did was show me the freedom I had all along. I have had an INCREDIBLE year. My complete mindset has changed over the past year, but I could only realize that and walk in that after I was laid off.

I have spent the past year listening to and meeting some amazing personal development speakers every week. I have learned, little by little, how to take my thoughts into captivity and not let all the negative thoughts rule. (Truth: sometimes I do let them and I need someone to snap me out of it!) I have so many things I’ve learned from so many people. I can’t possibly list it all here.

I have so many things I am looking forward to in this next year!

What are you looking forward to? What direction is God calling you?

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