I feel normal again. I even feel…well, I think the word is happy. The sun is shining. The sky is blue with a few fluffy white clouds. I got my exercise in. I still need to clean my bathrooms and take a shower.
This evening I’ll do an engagement shoot for my friends. I’m so looking forward to that.
Today Good Friday will be celebrated all over the globe, then followed by Easter on Sunday.
As a child I remember watching Jesus die on the cross. I don’t remember which version of it was on tv, but I remember crying out and screaming, “Noooo!” My dad probably said something about it not being real and that it was a trick on tv, which I knew that. I also knew that Jesus was killed. Plain and simple. I remember my heart beating wildly and my chest feeling all tight. I don’t remember what I felt when he rose from the dead.
I remember sitting in the theater with Kelly watching The Passion of the Christ. I remember how my heart hurt for Mary, mother of Jesus. I wondered if she questioned God in this. While she was watching her child die, did she wonder what good could come of this? We don’t get to hear her side, but I am a mother and I know how much I love my son. She knew he was special, but I know my children belong to me just as much as Jesus belonged to Mary. I saw the tears of my husband. He remembered and encouraged us to never forget.
He forgot; sometimes I do, too.
As a child my mom would hide an easter basket somewhere. Our house was tiny so it didn’t take long to find. My kids have never had an easter basket. We usually go to our friend’s house with a few other families. In the past the daddies have hidden the eggs filled with candy and money. This year our bigger kids will do that. I can’t remember what we did for last year.
I think I’ll make lentil soup for dinner. I already have the sourdough bread to go with it.
I get to see my precious little friend Mikaiah today. I love her. Truly, I do. She and her parents [and a slew of others] are leaving our little community and it has me a little…well, a lot sad. I don’t like people leaving. Knowing that people are leaving makes me want to leave first. These are people whose hearts I’ve connected with and now I’m learning to connect with other hearts, but it’s always scary.